Okay, so my story share, , is the importance of having a game plan when you're heading on holidays. And I know that that's hard for many parents to hear because one of the things we look forward to most about the holidays is having. To not be on our game all the time.
We want to , make sure that, like for most of us during term time, we're constantly thinking ahead , and planning particularly for our kids, , but usually for the whole household in making sure that everyone has the things that they need to get through the day and that the day runs. Smoothly. So when the holidays come around, one of the things I look forward to most is the opportunity just to relax and to not have to be thinking ahead all the time and pre-planning everything.
What I've learned over,, the time having four kids , and trying to live by , that ideal standard of just going with the flow is that it is actually a recipe for disaster. And, I'll give you some examples as we go of,. Of times where, , I've thought that I've done just enough planning, but haven't really sort of nailed the planning and the difference it makes when you take , that extra little bit of mental time to plan in advance and to communicate those plans with everyone else.
And so what I've certainly found is that if I take the time to communicate firstly with my husband about what the plan is and why this is the plan, and to nut it out, make sure we're both in agreeance and on the same page, and then to once we are clear, then to communicate that with the kids and to, .
Let them have some input into what's going to be happening and talk about what they wanna do and don't wanna do, , and develop a bit of expectations. 'cause when you don't have clear expectations going in and everyone's got these own vision in their head of what the holidays are gonna look like, there's often a mismatch of expectations.
And then people get irritable and frustrated,, and upset. And sometimes you don't know why they're upset and it's just because they had this vision of what it was gonna look like or. Feel like in their head, and that's not what's happening. So whether you're staying at home or you're going somewhere getting clear with everyone about what the expectations are, it doesn't have to be for a week ahead.
It doesn't even have to be for a whole day ahead, but it needs to be for the next foreseeable period because, , without clear expectations, , there's gonna be a lack of clarity and people are gonna become frustrated and you are gonna cop the brunt probably of their frustration, and you are gonna be irritable.
That the experience hasn't been the calm, relaxing, enjoyable experience that you were looking for? So, , most recently we've been on a holiday where we,, had to do two big flights and I, as we do, had mapped out the time we'd arrive at the airport, what we're gonna pack in the bags, what we're gonna use on the plane, that the right bags are packed, so that we've got all of the bits that we need for,, the trip.
And,
. , We get to the airport, Jack throws up,, all over himself and all over the floor in, in the airport. And thankfully it was a,, an old jumper, but that was the only one he had. And there's spew all over the floor in the airport.
No one's coming to help us. There's spew, , all over the jumper anyway, and we're about to board, , a massive flight. So take the jumper off, wipe up the spew, and throw the whole thing in the bin. So then for the next week, Jack doesn't have a jumper and it's. Freezing cold, and you'd think, oh, you'll pass a shop to buy a jumper.
But that, that didn't happen. So there's examples all the time of where you, you just gotta go with the flow. , We flew into a destination where we had, um, a window of time to kill. We knew we needed to get our kids outside and in nature, we know that we, we go on holidays, that if we can spend 70% of our time outside and in nature, then everyone's gonna be at their best.
So we'd had the best. Laid plans to get out of the airport, go to a playground. We'd looked up one nice and close by. We get outta the airport. It's raining radio. That's all right. We'll go. We packed the , carry on bag. We'll go to, , an indoor swimming pool. So we jump in the taxi, we drive to the indoor swimming pool and it's closed.
I'm like, what? It says that it's open when you look on Google. Didn't realize in the destination we're in, it was a public holiday and , therefore it just became a very expensive taxi trip to not be able to go to the pool. So instead we're running around an indoor shop shopping center, getting more and more dysregulated.
So even the best laid plans don't always work out, but the things that, , I. That make , the, the trip more smooth for me is by having, at least when those sort of plans do work out, which more often than not they do. Everyone knows what the expectation is. This is what's gonna happen, this is our backup plan.
If we can't do that, and yes, , that process I think is extra. Stressful for, , the person that's doing all of the mental load of mapping it. And there's definitely some benefits of sharing that load when you can, but certainly what I've found, particularly when you're trying to, , support sort of a good 4, 5, 6 different people and meeting everybody's needs , on the trip, is that having, , a loose plan of what the next day's going to look like, , getting everyone's input on what they want.
To do, , that day so that we can do our best to get everybody's needs met across the day. , And then doing that extra layer , of research, or planning to simplify the trip, whether it's looking at how you're getting from A to B, whether it's checking, , but things are open, was looking ,, at the schedules and the timetables.
It's , those little bits of information,, /
that mean when you're in those high pressure situations where everyone's, , nervous system's a little bit more dysregulated, and you're in an unfamiliar environment and people are starting to feel a bit antsy, that you can stay calm and feel in control because you've got some knowledge around your options and what needs to happen next.
And so, as much as my ideal of perfect holiday is to go with a flow and not have to plan as a mum. Four. I've certainly discovered that having a game plan, , for the little details that you don't necessarily think about will make for a much smoother experience for everyone. I mean, you've seen it many times before when you get to the beach and, .
You forgot to bring sunscreen or you haven't got the hats or you've got no water bottles, and then all of a sudden, and the same happens when you go to the park, your trip's cut short because that extra layer of planning wasn't in there to have those things ready, , , and to make that experience much better.
, And as much as I think we would love,, to not have to do that planning at from different times, and there's, I guess there's different holiday. Opportunities that you can take where you don't have to do that layer of planning when someone else can potentially be doing that for you, or those times where you structure it so that the kids are off doing activities so that you can have that downtime.
But, . My experience has been is that , the main person that suffers when you don't do the planning is us as the parents. , And so to set myself up for success, to keep my own nervous system regulated, to ensure that I have the best, most relaxing time possible, I do take that little bit of extra time before.
The troop or each night before I go to bed to communicate and map out what the next day is gonna look like. And that way everyone's getting their needs met. , Off the back of that, what we have learn to do is to make sure that 70% of our holiday time is spent out outside and in nature. And so obviously in Australia, in the wintertime with the weather that we've been having, that's really tricky in the southern states.
. But, , I think that , this is a major factor in how regulated we can keep our kids. And so starting the day with food in their belly, , as, as soon as possible from when they get outta bed, um, particularly high protein food in their body, and . Then heading out in nature as soon as possible after, and keeping any device time as much as you can to the afternoons.
All of those things help. Particularly , if the device time is something that has a clear start and end time, like watching a movie, YouTube's been one of the, , most challenging things for us. Whenever we're on holidays, a behavior that comes out after gaming time or YouTube time is. Just atrocious.
Whereas if we watch a movie in the afternoons or a movie on a, , on a plane flight or we have clear boundaries that when we turn, when the plane stops, ./
Then the gaming time is over tho those boundaries, , and that limit on the tech time versus then the time moving our bodies and outside in nature makes a big difference If we're planning a holiday away from home,, to really limit the amount of time that we are spending in crowds, in noisy places, in cities where, , everyone's having to be extra vigilant and really scheduling in significant chunks of time, either in water or in nature.
So that the kids have got some freedom and your nervous system has some freedom as well. They're probably my top tips for traveling with kids.
